mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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