It's Friday. Sex?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
