no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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