so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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