Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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