You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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