i barfeds in our rink
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
