Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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