I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
