I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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