Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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