oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
