Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
