i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
