2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
