I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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