i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
