What did we do last night that was yellow?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
