I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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