Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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