DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
