Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize