oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
did i just pee glitter
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
