i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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