I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize