Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
