I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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