some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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