what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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