; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
