i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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