Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
