I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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