Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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