do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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