Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
