you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
