I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
