Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
