i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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