We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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