there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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