haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize