His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
