THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
