The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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