I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
