erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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