Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
