Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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