Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
