Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
