did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
