That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
