I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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