New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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